Meet me backstage.

"Fusband!!!!!! You actually have to hand it to Tierney, “fusband” catches just about everything. Funny husband, facetious husband, frustrating husband, famous husband, fanciful husband, farting husband."

– For Some Reason, the New York Times Published a Story on Non-Married Spouses Who Call Each Other Things Like ‘Fusband’

4th
February

4 notes

thisrecording:

In the end I never got to ask my many questions - how do you pay your bills? Why do you have a picture of yourself as your background on your blackberry? How do you afford a blackberry? Have you ever written a cover letter? Will you ever quit acting if you’re not at a certain level of steady income by a certain time? Did you just take me to that play because you knew your ex-girlfriend’s sister would be there? How do you have the self-confidence to submit your constructed Self to the brutal process of auditions on a regular basis? Will you marry me and raise our children and let me support you and your dreams?

"

“You’ve been published by The Atlantic? That’s cool. My name is frequently used as a tag on Tumblr. We have all the makings of a modern power couple.”

“Do you come here often? I do. I’m the Foursquare mayor, actually, which means I come here more than anyone else. That reminds me, I need to check-in. Can I have your Twitter handle? You’re so attractive, I want to Shout it from multiple applications. Simultaneously.”

"

– McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: List: Ineffective Pick-Up Lines for the Modern Internet Persona.

13th
July

7 notes

Not potentially creepy or discouraging or awkward at all!

I imagine a lot of people feel this way after making a stab at online dating. Am I the degreed professional looking for the similarly educated white collar guy? Am I the performing artist looking for someone to go dancing with? Am I the healer looking for someone who isn’t going to be my client? The truth is, all of these count. So, I decided to try an experiment with Craigslist. I chose Craigslist because it’s text-based rather than photo-based. I suspected photos were working against me in some way I couldn’t perceive. I created three separate ads for Craigslist, all of which were posted within a day of each other. All three ads described me as a degreed professional looking for activity partners, friends, and maybe a relationship if the other two things worked with a bit about my interests and preferences (within five years of my own age, no kids, no habitual drinkers or smokers, creative, active).

The first described me accurately: gothic, Asian-American, alternative, artistic, inquisitive, intelligent, adventurous.
The second made no mention of my race at all. The third stated that I was “non-white and non-Christian.”
Her findings:
The ad that said I was Asian generated approximately 80 responses in about 6 hours, after which Craiglist struck the ad as being a fake. Many if not most of the responses started with something like, “I love Asian” (I’m not kidding) or “Asian women are so sexy.” The content and feel of the responses was overtly sexual and made specific reference to my race as part of the appeal. Keep in mind that none of these ads contained a photo, so for all these guys knew, I could be a dwarf with missing teeth. But, apparently, being Asian is its own draw.
The ad that did not specify my race drew a small number of responses, all from educated white men. Many of them didn’t write again after I sent them a photo. Did it have to do with an initial assumption that I was white which was then disappointed? I don’t know.
The third ad, the one full of “nons” - non-white, non-Christian, alternative - generated the best responses: creative, thoughtful guys of a variety of racial and economic backgrounds, all intelligent and interesting. (via race and dating and craigslist | angry asian man)

6th
August

0 notes

My heart fell today…

yourwrite:

When you admitted that you only date people within your own culture because it’s too difficult to date someone outside of it. I think that just means you’re too lazy to try.

Whoa. Talk about loaded.

"Our beers were half-empty, the peanut basket half-full. I told my story, watching his face, pushing peanut shells through the many holes in the iron tabletop. I thought they were scattering on the floor below, on the deck, but in fact they were piling up on my skirt."

– San Francisco Bay Guardian

"

He lost his glasses and two thousand dollars that night and slept in the bus station. I had to drive five hours to retrieve him—with a stop-over at the emergency room for fluids. We were together another four years.

Evelyn Everlady is the pen name of a young woman residing in New York who, for obvious reasons, wishes to retain her anonymity. She is quite aware that dating this person doesn’t exactly reflect well on her either.

"

– The Worst Boyfriend In The World: Episode Two, Crazy Like A Foxwoods | The Awl

6th
April

0 notes

To: My interviewers from last week, minus the whole dating thing.

"Because then I will not be able to stop thinking about you. I will be reminded of you every time I see a green M&M or an advertisement for 1-800-CLOSETWORLD. Why? Because we will have private jokes about these things. I will facebook stalk you and look at all of your photos and imagine me in them. I will never, ever tell you this. And then on the next date I will kiss you so fucking hard your face will FUCKING SHATTER. CAN YOU DEAL WITH THAT SHIT?"

– A P O C A L Y P S T I C K: Does anybody date anymore?

"Let me tell you this right now: you will pay for dinner. Yes, I said it. You are a man. I am a
woman. I am a hot woman. I am a sexy funny awesome hot woman. I am not paying for dinner. I am not going to split it. I am not going to do any of that shit. Because earlier that night I blow
dried my hair, put on make up, squeezed my Italian ass into a stretchy American Apparel dress, and shaved everything. And you’re a man. I don’t care if this is 2009 and I don’t care that Beyonce is running around in a leotard shouting at us to be proud single ladies: You. Are. Buying. Dinner."

– A P O C A L Y P S T I C K: Does anybody date anymore?

How to get a date for the holidays.

For those of you feeling the impact of seasonal ring tizzies full-force, relax. There is always the Internet. I would totally take the Internet over two weeks of sex, no question. So take that, Facebook ads targeted at users listed as “In a relationship!” I don’t care to buy your Limited Edition Insignia design unless it provides me with limitless Wi-Fi.